Thursday, February 3, 2011

Cushie 12-Step Program

I “acquired” this from another site and changed the names to protect the innocent…

As you know many of us Cushies have had or have an addiction to Googling.

I suggest anyone who feels compelled to google symptoms go to the message boards to ask for support instead of typing these or any words such as “buffalo hump” in the google search engine. When this is done all roads lead to one thing…… You Eat Too Much!; You’re Depressed!

So, anyone who is about to hit enter on their computer which feeds their Google addiction…. go to the message boards to ask for help. One of the other Cushies who have achieved “Google sobriety” will help you down of the ledge.

1. Admit for now that you are powerless over your urge to Google.
2. Believe that a power greater than you (that would be other Cushies) can help you off that ledge
3. Decide to turn your “fingers” over to a higher power as you understand it.
4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of what you hope to gain from googling.
5. Admit to yourself and to another human being the exact nature of your addiction to Google.
6. Allow other Cushies to assist you when you are so scared you are thinking about googling symptoms.
7. Humbly ask for Xanax, Klonopin or Cortef in order to calm yourself from googling symptoms
8. Make a list of all the diseases you think you have or have had and survived and have a burning ceremony and then…. take a nap.
9. Cite all Google sites you have searched diseases on and delete them from your favorites/history.
10. When you start thinking….STOP….. do something else, like take an inventory of your test results.
11. Seek through prayer and/or meditation to improve your thought process. Do not travel to “OMG’ or “What if” land (this is a serious suggestion).
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, carry this message to all your Cushie friends and anyone else you know who has a Google addiction.

13. Now I know there isn’t a 13th step, however, if you have noticed you are drinking too much wine or taking too many pills, please remember there are other 12 step programs for that, lol…

So, what about it – what are *your* suggestions to cure Google Addiction?


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